New year, new mindset.

Forget the whole “new year, new you.” Forget the lofty resolutions that are farfetched from where you are actually starting. Instead, this year let’s focus on setting resolutions that stick.

Let’s go back to January 1st, 2020

I am sure many of us had a very different idea of how the year was going to go. Regardless of what was not in our control, I am sure many of you are sitting here thinking about all the miles you planned to run, the hours you planned to meditate, or even the # of books you planned to read. And unfortunately, many of us fell short of our lofty wishes for the new year.

It is important to note you are not alone – research shows success rates for new year’s resolutions are very low. There are estimates that 77% of individuals are still following their resolutions at the one week mark (meaning 23% of people don’t even last a week), and over 80% don’t make it the whole year.

The problem is people fail to look at what really motivates them. To achieve change, we must set goals that work towards things that truly matter to US, not what matters to your boyfriend or your mom. Another issue is that people tend to be unrealistic with their goals; you can’t go from living a completely sedentary lifestyle to running a marathon in a month.

Leave the diets in 2020

The number one thing I hear when people talk about their resolutions are diet related. Although as a dietitian my title has the word diet in it, I am actually the kind of dietitian that encourages you to move away from this mindset. Why is that you might wonder? Well it’s quite simple: diet’s do not work. Read more on that here.

Find your motivation

Now that we’ve all agreed to not do some fad diet in 2021, what do we want to work on? The first step is finding what motivates YOU. Most of our resolutions aren’t things we actually want to do deep down in our hearts, but things we feel we ought to do.

We must first understand the two types of motivational goals: intrinsic and extrinsic. Intrinsic goals mean that your behavior is motivated by your own internal desire to do something. These tend to be those we actually set our minds to achieving. On the other hand, we also have extrinsic goals: those we may go after, but we are motivated to achieve them because they’re set by other people (our parents, spouses, or friends), culture or even society as a whole.

Extrinsic motivation is engaging in an activity not because you enjoy it but because you want to get something in return. For instance, maybe your mom thinks you need to do yoga more, so you make it your resolution to do yoga more. It’s one week into 2021 and you realize you hate yoga. To you, it’s not relaxing and after 2 weeks you stop doing it bc there is no internal part of you that actually wants to be there and feels like its bettering yourself.

Instead, if you yourself are looking for a way to destress after the workday and value yoga as a way to do so, you are more likely to enjoy it and therefore stick to it.

When we look to set goals, we want to make sure we are looking internally at what we value, what we want to change and ultimately understanding why it matters to us.

I think this quote from Adam Grant, a psychologist, sums it up very nicely. “When you feel like you’re not productive, it’s not necessarily because you’re lazy or because you have bad habits, it’s because you’re not working on the right projects and you haven’t found the ones that are intrinsically motivating and meaningful to you.”

Look at the past

Once you have identified your motivation, next it is important to look at the past. The past can provide us with a ton of information on ourselves. Instead of judging yourself for what you have or have not done, start using your past to better understand your own psychology. Different things work for different people; understanding what has or has not worked for you previously can best help you figure out what will work in the future.

Understanding the habit loop

To make change, we must understand how habits are created. Habits are created in our brain in this loop: it goes cue (which is what triggers the habit), routine (aka the behavior in which we generally refer to as the habit), and then the reward (the positive reinforcement we get which keeps us on this loop).

Let’s use emotional eating as an example. The cue could be sadness, the routine is to eat ice cream and the reward is the dopamine/serotonin boost you get in your brain in response sugar. If we want to break up with the habit of emotionally eating ice cream, we need to work on rewriting the routine.

The cue is always going to be there; moments of sadness are inevitable as human beings. And we always want you to get that reward, aka the dopamine/serotonin boost, to help you cope with your feelings of sadness. So, that leaves us with the routine to work with. Ask yourself: how can we start rewriting the routine to still get a boost of dopamine/serotonin? Maybe you go for a walk. Maybe you listen to a song that makes you happy. Maybe you call a friend. Start exploring new ways to address your emotions outside of food.

Really understanding habits is a integral part to addressing them.

Set specific goals, not resolutions

A resolution is “a decision to do or not to do something”, while a goal is “the object of one’s ambition or effort”. Resolutions tend to be aspirational and not all that exact in nature.

When we set resolutions, the word should sneaks in, meaning we are looking at these resolutions from a point of possibility, doubt & shame. On the other hand, if we make goals that are specific and measurable, we are coming from a place of “I will”.

Say you want to save money. If you say you will save 50 dollars from every paycheck, you will actually save that money vs. the vague promise of being more frugal.

We want to set SMART goals, which means they are specific, measurable, achievable, relevant and time bound. You can apply this to the typical resolution of wanting to “eat less sugar’. Instead of stating you should eat less processed sweets, get real about you will do. The goal could be “I will switch out soda for seltzer 3x/week”. This makes it clear and measurable, meaning you are more likely to stick to it.

Keep it realistic

Next we want to be realistic and assess our starting point. One big issue with most resolutions is people start the new year and expect to completely change who they are. When we set lofty goals that we cannot achieve, we become disappointed. Like I said earlier, you can’t go from never running to running a marathon in a month. Instead, maybe you start by running 3 times a week for 20 minutes. This example is more likely something you can achieve. We are motivated by success, so this achievement will keep you going.

Look outside of food and exercise

Traditional new year’s resolutions focus solely on our physical health (diet and exercise). However, our overall wellness is much more complex than that. There is our mental, spiritual, environmental, social and emotional wellness as well.

See if you can set goals that contribute to your wellness as a whole vs only looking at what you are eating and how you are moving. Look at your sleep habits, your stress levels, prioritizing a bit of self care and most importantly ENJOYMENT. Looking at these things can also help you figure out a bit about your intrinsic motivation.

Think about what you can add in

Lots of new year’s resolutions tend to be about what you want to do less of (eat less meat, eat less sugar). Instead, I challenge you to focus on the things you want to do more of (eat more veggies, drink more water). When you focus on eating more vegetables or drinking more water, you will naturally begin eating less junk or drinking less soda.

Be kind

Lasting and most importantly, I encourage you to be kind to yourself this year. Our words greatly impact our psychology, so instead of constantly beating ourselves up for what we didn’t do, start celebrating what you are doing.

If you do fall off our your goals, try talking to yourself the way you would talk to a friend. What would you say to a friend who is feeling off their game? Likely the answer is something motivating and nothing negative. Try saying the same to yourself.

It takes 1 step to start a marathon, 1 vegetable to feel more energized, 1 glass of water towards hydration. A little is better than none.

Happy new year. Xx.

New year, new mindset: how to set resolutions that actually stick